The Bully

A Deep Sick Feeling
Like A Size Nine Boot,
Inflicting Internal Bleeding,
Vomiting,
Black Eyes,
The Pain No One Could See,
The Physical Scars
Across My Body..
 
A Crushing Sensation
That Squeezed At My Brain,
Like A Punch In The Head
Causing Me Mental Strain..
 
I Endured It All,
And As Hard As I Tried,
To Find An Excuse,
For Me To Just Hide..
But They Found Me Each Day
“All Acting So Fuckin Hard,
With Their Mates In Tow
To Act As Their Guard”
 
Well What Would I Give
To Run Into You Now,
I’d Smash At Your Skull,
And Slowly Devour..
Your Brain From Your Head,
I’d Pierce Your Body
As Hard As I Could,
And Rip Out Your Insides,
And Hope You Understood,
 
The Excruciating Horror,
That You Put Me Through,
Now It’s My Turn,
To Enforce Pain On You..
 
Then After I’d Walk,
Away From Your Limp Lifeless Corpse,
Not Showing An Ounce Of Remorse,
Maybe A Smile,
Maybe A Grin,
That You’d Never Be Able To
Inflict Pain Again.

The Evil Drink

It Calls Me,
Day And Night,
It Calls Me,
A Voice At The Back Of My Head,
A Nagging Thumping Voice At The Back Of My Head,
I Look Away,
I Try And Hide My Face,
Hoping It Will Go Away..
Hoping It Will See,
I’m Trying To Be Strong,
But It Eats Away At Me..
 
The Afternoon
Tap, Tap, Tap..
The Voice Is Back,
Calling,
Pursuing,
Wearing Me Down,
Breaking Down The Defences
That Were Standing So Well..
My Barriers Now Falling,
My Army Defeated,
My Guard Now Down,
My Will Power Depleted..
 
The Evening Has Come,
And I’ve Done So Well,
Resisting The Temptation,
The Seductive Lure..
But As Well As I’ve Done,
The Evening Wins,
Another Tick To Add To My Sins...

(Friends) And Family

Fuck Off Then Leave Me,
Times Are To Hard,
Forget About The Present,
The Future And The Past,
Forget About Old Times,
And The Things We’ve Been Through,
And How My Life Used To Revolve Around You..
My Family Are Leaving,
Yeah There Going Too,
All shacking up Together,
To Live Happily By The Sea,
All Fucking Off They Can’t Wait To Leave Me..
Friends And Family All Leaving My Side,
Since I’ve Turned Into A Demented,
Physcotic,
Freak,
They All Run And Hide..
Well Fuck Off The Lot Of You,
Go And Leave Me,
You Were All Happy To Stay When I Was Young And Care Free,
But Now I Have Changed,
Things Are Harder For Me,
Why Don’t You Care,
Why Can’t You See...
 
I’ll Fight My Battle,
And Fight It Alone,
And When It Beats Me,
And I’m On My Last Breath,
Facing Near And Certain Death,
Remember How You Left Me,
That You Didn’t Care,
That You Wern’t Around For Me,
You Were Never There..

All Over

Looking Up From My Casket,
Velvet Interior Cusions My Limbs,
Peace And Tranquility,
Calmness Falling Over Me..
No More Worry,
Heartache,
Anguish,
Pain Or Sadness..
My Chamber Protects Me,
I’m Now At Rest,
I’ve Escaped From This Place,
And The Evil,
Repulsive,
Destructive,
Human Race..
I’m Feeling I’ve Won,
I’ve Beaten This Disease,
Crippled Me For So Long,
I Now Feel At Ease..
It Fucked Up My Mind,
And Played With My Head,
Everyday Telling Myself,
“I Wish I Were Dead”..
At Peace At Last,
Quiet And Still,
With A Smile On My Face,
Laying Here Dressed To Kill...

My Final Journey

My Final Journey,
A Drawn Out Procession,
People Snivelling,
Portraying An Ugly Pretense,
Why Not Stand Tall,
Why Not Be True,
Most Of These People,
I Don’t Even Know You..
Acting Upset
I’m Wondering Why,
As Crocodile Tears Fall From Your Eye,
Pathetic,
Worthless,
Show Of Affection,
Just You Wait,
Till My Resurrection,
I’ll Rise Again,
And Be Different You’ll See,
I Won’t Need Anybody,
To Love And Hold Me,
I Won’t Get Close,
So You Can Walk Away,
Be Up All Night,
To Prey That You Stay,
I’ll Be On My Own,
Right From The Start,
Right To The End,
Till Death Do Us Part..

Tomorrow

I Miss The Old Days,
Pop A Pill,
The Pain Goes Away,
Now I Grieve,
I Live Through It,
But Everyday I grieve..
 
Tomorrow,
Her Special Day,
A Tear Will Fall..
Will I Call?
No,
I’ll Try But It Will Be Too Hard,
I’m Not Strong Enough,
It Eats Me,
It Burns Away,
Torturing Me,
Tormenting Me..
 
If Ever Someone Asked Me,
How It Feels,
To Have Your Heart Pierced,
Ripped In Two,
Bury A Dagger Straight Through,
Deprive It Of Life,
Starve It,
Suffocate,
Annihilate,
Then I can say,
I Know..
 
The Tumour Inside,
Growing,
Feeding Off My Ordeal,
Crushing My Every Organ,
I’ll Wear My Mask To Work,
Smile And Laugh,
Be So Fucking Helpful,
Until I Return Home,
Where I’ll Crumble,
And Break..
Burn Me At
The Stake,
Free Me From This Sorrow,
For Tomorrow,
Inside I’ll Die.

Existing

My Morning Comes,
The Sun Failing To Break Through,
Lethargy Building Up Over Me,
Wanting To Hide Away,
Sleep Through The Day..
Get Up For What?
Leave Me Alone,
If I Don’t Move
Then No One Will Know..
 
I’m Hiding Away,
I Just Can’t Move,
My Arms And Legs
Feeling Like Lead Balloons,
So Fuckin Heavy,
This Day Sucks I Hate It,
I Hate You For Not Seeing It,
My Disease Ridden Body,
Lay Festering In My Pit..
 
When’s My Day Over?
How Much More To Endure?
Why Can’t It End Now?
Whys There No Cure?              
I Hate It Here,
Instead Of Being
Incarcerated,
Entombed,
Trapped,
In This Lifeless Shell,
Why Can’t I Move
Get Out Of This Hell..
 
A Transfer,
A Swap,
An Exchange,
A Body,
A Mind,
For A Change,
But Knowing My Luck,
I Guess That I’m Stuck,
With This Worthless
Constitution I’m In...